My name is Caleb Dillon. I’m forty-four years old, and I am a screenwriter.
It has been a hectic few weeks; I returned to school, where I am in the final year of graduate school (granted, it’s only a two-year program), with new professors, new assignments, and, more importantly, new scripts! Every professor I’ve ever had wants a new script, not a rewrite of an existing script. More on that problem later…
Likewise, between working (you know, I still need money), writing, and pre-production on my short film Good Behavior, which is taking up WAY more time than I thought it would, I’m a busy guy. They say films are won or lost in pre-production, and buddy, they ain’t joking. More on THAT later, too.
Being so busy, I had to say enough was enough. When I get overwhelmed I like to make lists; there is something about seeing everything laid out that makes it feel more achievable, even if nothing else has changed.
But in the same way, you have a list of what you should be doing, I found it useful to also have a list of things I should be doing. These are things that I am intentionally putting off to make way for something else.
Let’s be clear: I have the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else, but when you work for yourself, it’s easy to get into the trap of all waking hours being working hours, which can be hard to sustain. I am extremely driven and motivated, but even I have limits. In short bursts, that go-to attitude can be great, but I can exhaust myself by simply saying yes to everything that comes my way. I hate to say no to new opportunities, so I have to evaluate the things that aren’t actually helping me at the moment, and this list comprises some of those.
MY TO DON’T LIST
Queries - Writing query letters is a HUGE time sink. People like to say that you can just jump on IMDB Pro and grab some agent's email, but that is bullshit. Many years ago, most Hollywood types got wise and took their email off of the site. Likewise, people change companies, change emails, and leave the industry altogether. So, that strategy only works so well; I should know, I’ve tried it.
Also, query letters work best when they are personalized, specific to the receiver, and the project matches their interests. That means I have to do my homework if I want the query to even have a REMOTE chance of reaching the intended receiver. Are they a Duke fan? Did they just get a promotion? Did their last movie bomb? I need to know those fresh deets if I want to connect with this person who is a stranger to me.
On a good day, an agent might receive 200+ emails. There is an excellent chance they are going to delete my email before opening it because they will have a hundred more just like me that day and they have to serve their existing clients, do their job, make a living, etc. I get it; they don’t want to read my ‘will you be my agent’ letter any more than I really want to write them if I’m being perfectly honest.
While for a hot minute there I was writing five queries a week, it may take 45 minutes to research and write just one query, and while yes, there are a lot of ways to save time by pitching the same material at the same agency or the like, it’s 8-16 hours per month I could be using to do anything else, writing for instance.
Queries work best when there is some heat on me, either a big contest win or I’m the toast of the indie film circuit or the like. Since I am none of those things at the moment, I am closing my query window, literally and figuratively. Take that, Hollywood!
Chasing Writing Prompts: In Hollywood, they have these things called OWA (Open Writing Assignments); basically, a studio or producer has the rights to a (thing, book, IP, game, toy, etc) and a bunch of writers pitch on the project. Lots of great movies, and more than a few bad ones, come out of this process.
But I am not a represented writer, so I don’t get to pitch on shit. The closest thing I have to this is something that I call Writing Prompts. Lots of folks call them by different names: Coverfly calls them Industry Mandates. Stage 32 has the Writer’s Room, and the ISA calls them Writing Gigs. Some of these you have to pay to submit to, others are free. But in all cases, they gobble up your time.
I have submitted to maybe a few hundred of these, pushing around ten scripts through various platforms. And mostly, it’s painless; if you have the script already written and some supporting materials (logline, pitch deck, etc), then it feels like a no-brainer. But after applying to hundreds of these and getting literally nowhere, I’m not doing them anymore. It’s time I can’t get back, and I’d rather spend time developing my material than baking off against hundreds of other writers. Except it’s worse because, in a bake-off, everyone pitches the same idea. Here, it is more like the County Fair, where no two writers are pitching the same concept at all; it’s not who has the best pie. They’re comparing fried corn dogs and turkey legs and pies all at the same time. In truth, the producers are probably overwhelmed, too. So screw all that nonsense!
Yard Work - Let’s be real, I am a writer. I am most productive when comfortably seated at my laptop with a cup o’ Joe. So do I let the weeds get out of control in my yard? Is that grass well above HOA regulations? Do I maybe have poison ivy slowly overtaking my woodshed? You’re damned right I do! And it can stay that way til a mild winter comes along in a few months. I will gladly out lazy my HOA. Send those letters; I’ll mow the grass when I damn well have to avoid the fines, just like the great loafers of old.
Cleaning My House - If you thought I let things get out of control in my yard, you should see my house. Look, I’m not filthy or anything, but I don’t sweep, dust, or clean my bathroom on a regular basis. As such, there’s just an overall level of ‘fuzz’ in the house; dander and cat fur on the floor, some soap scum in the shower, and maybe my books aren’t nicely tucked away on the shelf. So what. I sorta-kinda know where everything is! I’d hire a maid, but that feels elitist. I made this mess and I’ll clean it up when company is coming over just like I’m meant to, dammit.
Teaching Portfolio - This one gets a little more personal. In order to apply for teaching jobs in the spring, I need a teaching portfolio. That portfolio has a lot of parts I won’t bore you with, but think of it like an artist's portfolio but for teaching. It takes weeks if not months to put together. But I can’t do it and everything else on my list at the moment, so this will have to wait til Winter, after my film is in the can. This feels like a very January Caleb problem to me. So when January Caleb is mad, blame August Caleb. He said it could wait, so, yeah, I guess we’re just not doing that right now.
Stunt Scripts - I’ve been itching to write a script for fun recently, just something that I would enjoy writing, with no agenda beyond the joy of writing. I guess one might argue the top-secret biopic I’m penning with a friend is sort of stunt-adjacent, but it’s no Muppenheimer. OH! What if it’s a split movie, where Kermit is Oppenheimer and Piggy plays a Barbie like version of herself in some sort of bastardized dual plot that pays homage to both Barbie and Oppenheimer… hmmmm…. Shit… maybe I should write that script. NO, it’s on the TO-DON’T LIST! Sorry, Muppenheimer
Anyway, I think you get the point here.
Life is overwhelming, and time is fleeting, and to make the most of it, I sometimes have to say no to things.
What are you saying no to, actively, in your life to make space for something else? Not MAYBE, not I’LL GET TO THAT SOON, just outright, no, NOPE, can’t do it.
My name is Caleb Dillon. Thanks for reading, but you should be writing!
SHAMELESS PLUGS BEGIN
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Got Money? I’ve got some land on Mars I can part with…
FIN